I bet you're all dying to know the story behind my anonymity, right?
I'm up to 500 followers on Booklikes (waves furiously) and 400 followers on my Wordpress blog, The Moonlight Library (toasts to all) so I thought I'd share why my anonymity is important and what led to it.
Important note -I used to run a semi-anonymous public travel blog that linked to my Facebook account but only gave my first name as an identifier. My friends on Facebook obviously knew the blog was mine, but any outsider reading the blog would just know me by my first name.
When I was a young(er) woman I had a very special friend who was unlike any of my other friends. She had an unhealthy obsession with me that I’m still baffled with to this day. I actually wrote three pages depicting only a handful of her quirks and oddities, but I’ll boil it down to some essential elements: she made me uncomfortable by repeatedly offered to have threesomes with me, offered to sleep with a man she knew was in a relationship with her only other female friend, dumped her long-term boyfriend (my best friend) for her university lecturer, and she obsessively stalked everything I did on Facebook and my blog and constantly wanted to talk to me, about me and my future and my fiance who was living in another country (and whom I’m marrying in a couple of months).
At first I was flattered, but then as it continued, constantly, it got weird.
She was also incredibly jealous when she thought I’d slept with her ex (my best friend) after she’d broken up with him. Then she showed up uninvited to his birthday party and offered to have a threesome with us. She wasn't drinking.
She befriended my fiancé and constantly wanted to talk to him about all sorts of weird sexual stuff, and also proposed a threesome with us as well as some other stuff so deviant I’m not even comfortable confessing it here. Let’s just say it made Fifty Shades ‘BDSM’ look virginal. She pestered me constantly about my moving overseas to the point where my fiancé felt the need to tell her to back off, because she was more interested than all of my other friends combined. It was creepy and stalkerish, but at the time I just figured she was weird, and combined with her neediness, her careless need to drag me into whatever she was obsessing about, and her constant need to be involved and invited and be the centre of attention caused me to start cooling our friendship off.
Six months before I moved overseas (it was a long process) she also met someone from the same area online, left the lecturer, and pursued a long-distance relationship like me. Six months after I moved, so did she. She then started sending me weird messages wanting to know why our friendship was over, which I calmly and patiently explained to her, among other things, that I didn’t have the energy to deal with her any more. She constantly wanted to talk about bodily waste, which doesn't interest me in the least. She demanded all my time and energy, despite the fact that we were just friends.She sucked the life out of me and everything was about her. She removed me from Facebook. I moved on.
Then strange, abusive messages began appearing on my personal blog. The poster was saying horrible things, about how no one would be friends with my fiancé when we moved back to Australia, that everyone thinks he was just using me to get to Australia, that he was abusive and I was too wrapped up in my little love bubble to realise, abusive comments about our living conditions (poor area) and unemployment, and worst of all, she spun lies about my fiancé’s faithfulness to me and claimed he’d said he wanted to fuck her and have a threesome with me and her, and some other weird stuff she'd talked to me about previously when I was trying to be open-minded.
Which set off the first alarm bells, because offering threesomes was her thing.
After the first message, I wasn’t entirely sure who it was, but I bluffed on my blog that I did, so that when the second abusive comment appeared she signed her name.
This comment was also abusive, but also added in horrible things like she hoped my fiancé and I didn’t have children because the country didn't want us nor our 'self-absorbed little twits' running around, more horrible lies about my fiancé, trying to make us break up, more about him being abusive, and how we should have stayed friends so we could support each other living in a foreign country.
Even though I knew who it was, now I knew someone unstable was reading every post on my blog. I started blogging a lot less and only about non-personal stuff. (on a personal travel blog, yeah I know!)
Some months later, I announced on the blog that we were moving back to Australia in a couple months once we sorted out the house and finances. Lo and behold, the ex-friend of mine breaks up with her boyfriend the day after my announcement and moves back home before we did. She also sent me messages begging to be friends with me again and apologising for the horrible things she’d posted.
To this day I believe she only got into a long-distance relationship because I did, and moved to the same country as I did, and convinced her boyfriend to move closer to the city I said I lived in (although I didn’t live in that city, I wasn’t stupid and was somewhat attempting to be private to random people on the internet. It’s different when the person stalking you is a real-life 'friend'), all because she wanted to be close to me, and was copying me (you know what they say about the highest form of flattery). I believe I was literally stalked to the other side of the world by a woman with an unhealthy obsession with me, and when I no longer responded to her she pursued me online, and tried to make me break up with my fiancé so she could monopolise me again.
I never responded to her plea for forgiveness. But I did vow to never leave myself open like that ever again.
That’s why I’m anonymous.
PS My best friend and my fiancé now have an epic bromance. My best friend is my fiancé's best man at our wedding.